"The one that got away"

Spring, fall, or anytime, a thorough house cleaning will bring up surprises sometimes.
In the spirit of just plain getting rid of things I've held onto for years (pack rat ya know with 'issues' LOL- it doesn't take a shrink to know I 'guard' things because I'd had my life (house, property and all contents) ripped away from me in a inheritance battle at 14 years old- anyway neither here nor there- kinda.

Back to my story ;)

We're 'fall cleaning'. So Dh runs across an old letter from a friend of mine. You know the kind- passed in school folded in those cutesy designs to have to refold again LOL. Well this one said the whole
crush thing- you know your name with big fat heart under it declaring love of the current crush written below. So the DH sing-songs. "I found something."

yeah ok what?
so I open the letter of say 15-20 years ago! LOL I laugh and say "Ha. Ha." His returning remark is "Is that the one that got away?"

So this had me thinking about how life changes, how past crushes are just that- crushes and how we sometimes learn from what looks good at the time doesn't mean its great for us in the long haul. I thought -but didn't say- I was too good for him then and now. LOL An ill match for sure. I didn't realize my own worth and choose poorly- a lesson to quickly learn for sure.

Which got me thinking about that in reference to how we write our characters.
Are our heroines to good for the men we place in leading roles opposite them? Or do we make the men worthy of our heroines? Some one that can match them strength for strength, idea for idea and lean on each other when needed.

So as writers do we go with the current crush for our heros and heroines? Or do we make them someone dependable, worthy, and exciting for all to cheer on?

Since I'm having a Sarah Jessica Parker moment from Sex in the City, I'd love to know what you think