Christmas blahs

The trees are trimmed, some even removed. Christmas has come and gone. The blahs have set in. Those gifts you worked so hard to match to the right person the right gift, some were simply not appreciated, some gifts the receiver already has the thing you gave them, ecards not picked up because they think it's viruses, kids just asking for more when they've already had too much, sigh. Christmas just doesn't feel the same as it used to. It's depressing. Life is depressing. January is just around the corner. I don't like to deal with January. It means a new year for so many people. More hope to continue on from Christmas. The hope of the new year with new possiblities. Since 1990 it's meant death to me. Dec. 19th is my birthday, followed by Christmas, followed by New Year's with happiness until my 14th birthday. That year was different. That year, after the usual hoildays, when the year was new with untold promises, those promises were broken and all dreams past present and future, were shattered in the cold light of day. On January 8th my dad died and the world as I knew it ended. My ability to make my own dreams come true became lost, died or somehow disappeared into the unfindable. My dreams ended. Now with a deep sigh between Christmas and New Year's, I realize it's coming around again.

Internet Withdrawal -- Who knew?

Ok after two excruciating weeks I have a working computer!!
It's been boring, nerve wrecking and even a bit relaxing to know I couldn't sit and read emails, surf for new information that interests me, wondering if all my hard work was forever lost, would we break down and get a new one if this one couldn't be fixed. Oh the anxiety of it all!

Well, it's not new, so obviously we have the old one fixed! Yay!! Just in time for Christmas! Now the harder part getting the printer replaced or buying new. We probably let the warranty run out. oh geez! That's life I guess you snooze you loose. Well, off to polish that story that has been burning a hole in my head since the computer breakdown. And since a quick peek into writersmarket.com generated a quick new short story seems like its a great thing to get it down now, right after changing that smelly diaper running around...

Nightprowler's Daughter

I am up half the night. My mind seldom shuts completely down. My dad was many things in his life. A trucker by the Cb handle of Nightprowler, just one of those identities. At least before me. He could do just about anything literally, not just from my point of view, but all those he touched. Someone always needed him for something. He was anything but a doormat either. He held families together, took care of people in hard times and just ran the small part of our world.

I got an early Christmas present from my mom. A decorative car tag. The picture of a cougar lying on a stacked pile of rocks with a snowy mountain side supporting it. Just beautiful. It matches my car- A MERCURY COUGAR. On the right side opposite a bare wintry tree branch (on the left) are two words Nightprowler's Daughter. It fits like a new skin. Something I needed. An unknown surprise gift, much better than a present.
Thanks Mom I love you.