Christmas blahs

The trees are trimmed, some even removed. Christmas has come and gone. The blahs have set in. Those gifts you worked so hard to match to the right person the right gift, some were simply not appreciated, some gifts the receiver already has the thing you gave them, ecards not picked up because they think it's viruses, kids just asking for more when they've already had too much, sigh. Christmas just doesn't feel the same as it used to. It's depressing. Life is depressing. January is just around the corner. I don't like to deal with January. It means a new year for so many people. More hope to continue on from Christmas. The hope of the new year with new possiblities. Since 1990 it's meant death to me. Dec. 19th is my birthday, followed by Christmas, followed by New Year's with happiness until my 14th birthday. That year was different. That year, after the usual hoildays, when the year was new with untold promises, those promises were broken and all dreams past present and future, were shattered in the cold light of day. On January 8th my dad died and the world as I knew it ended. My ability to make my own dreams come true became lost, died or somehow disappeared into the unfindable. My dreams ended. Now with a deep sigh between Christmas and New Year's, I realize it's coming around again.